Archive for the ‘Undisclosed’ Category

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Protected: From Dreamgirl To Doormat – This is My Story (Part IV – End) [Hint: My last gift from him]

March 17, 2010

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Protected: From Dreamgirl to Doormat – This Is My Story (Part III) [Hint: We stayed there twice]

March 16, 2010

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Protected: From Dreamgirl to Doormat – This Is My Story (Part II) [Hint: I was not his priority]

March 15, 2010

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Protected: From Dreamgirl to Doormat – This Is My Story (Part I) [Hint: Food I was deprived of]

March 14, 2010

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Can I Ask You A Question?

February 22, 2010

It’s getting harder and harder for me every single day not to pick up the phone and call you.. I wonder how you’re doing, if there’s anything new with you, and if you’re already with her or if you miss me or love me still..

I’ve come to terms with our split but it’s really not easy for me to forgo what could be everlasting friendship if we can never be anything more after the events that have occurred. You have no idea how strong I have to be just to keep you safe and sound..

If I had a chance to ask you just one question out of the many that arise every single day in my mind I would choose to ask you this:

“Is it easy for you to go through every single day without hearing my voice?”

God knows I miss you despite everything you did that broke my heart.. I’m angered at the fact that you let her come between us once more like every promise you made to the person you supposedly loved is unimportant.. I will never understand why you’d tell her that you were glad to have met her despite everything.. Does that mean you wanted to be with her but I was in the way?

There’s so many things I want to ask you but you’ll say you don’t know. I guess it’s just the same as me not talking to you. But I wish things could be different all the same. I wish you would tell me the truth because that’s all I need to hear. If there is or was something going on between you and her, I wish you wouldn’t keep it from me because I need to move on and it will be easier knowing you’re in love with someone else.

No matter what, I hope you are happier without me. I guess I wasn’t good or important enough to you to stop cheating on me. I’m sorry I made you love me less. I’m sorry I trusted you again after all that had happened. I’m sorry I loved you for everything you were. I’m even sorrier that I still want us to be together after everything you’ve done to me.

It really would be easier for me if you tell me you’ve moved on.. That would surely help.

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Daytime Nightmares

February 20, 2010

Every morning I wake up and wonder why…

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear piglet. I’m glad I met you despite everything. I hope you make the right decision about going out today. Good night, my dear”…

That was a nightmare to me..

Why so loving if it didn’t mean anything? Why was it only her that he called “my dear”? What does her decision about going out with some guy on valentine’s have to do with him? Why should she bother even telling him about what she wants to do on Valentines? Was she trying to get him jealous? Did he lie about feeling nothing for her?

Then comes other questions..

Would he be with her today? Are they holding hands and showing each other affection? Is he flirting like crazy with her since I’m out of the picture? Is she sure she can handle a boy 4 years younger than her? Does she feel like she has won this game? Did he really love me when he said he did? Does he even think about me? Is he happy that I’m no longer a part of his life?

He doesn’t even bother asking anyone how I’m doing.. Then again, he never really cared. I hope she makes him happy. And I hope he made the right decision when he decided to hurt me for her.. With God’s grace, I hope I’ll heal soon as I know he has..

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“Hate That I Love You..”

February 9, 2010

I have always believed that fate brought us together. Fate taught us how to love and compliment each other like the right pieces of a beautiful puzzle.. It wasn’t until the sea came between us that fate lost it’s way.. What we are now, does not come close to what we were then.. What great laughter we’ve shared have turned into a sea of tears.. What love we felt, is now just a distant memory..

We are lost..

Everyday I wonder if we should let go and cherish what memories we’ve created and move on with life.. But walking away isn’t an easy task to do because deep down, our love is still strong though it may be hidden deep and when I heard Rihanna and Ne-yo’s duet on radio yesterday, it was like singing my current situation on air..

I’m swimming in my tears directionless.. Should I stay? Should I go? Should I believe the fortune teller that the right one is yet to come? I wish I knew what to do..