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Can I Ask You A Question?

February 22, 2010

It’s getting harder and harder for me every single day not to pick up the phone and call you.. I wonder how you’re doing, if there’s anything new with you, and if you’re already with her or if you miss me or love me still..

I’ve come to terms with our split but it’s really not easy for me to forgo what could be everlasting friendship if we can never be anything more after the events that have occurred. You have no idea how strong I have to be just to keep you safe and sound..

If I had a chance to ask you just one question out of the many that arise every single day in my mind I would choose to ask you this:

“Is it easy for you to go through every single day without hearing my voice?”

God knows I miss you despite everything you did that broke my heart.. I’m angered at the fact that you let her come between us once more like every promise you made to the person you supposedly loved is unimportant.. I will never understand why you’d tell her that you were glad to have met her despite everything.. Does that mean you wanted to be with her but I was in the way?

There’s so many things I want to ask you but you’ll say you don’t know. I guess it’s just the same as me not talking to you. But I wish things could be different all the same. I wish you would tell me the truth because that’s all I need to hear. If there is or was something going on between you and her, I wish you wouldn’t keep it from me because I need to move on and it will be easier knowing you’re in love with someone else.

No matter what, I hope you are happier without me. I guess I wasn’t good or important enough to you to stop cheating on me. I’m sorry I made you love me less. I’m sorry I trusted you again after all that had happened. I’m sorry I loved you for everything you were. I’m even sorrier that I still want us to be together after everything you’ve done to me.

It really would be easier for me if you tell me you’ve moved on.. That would surely help.

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